American Men Turn To 18th Century Hair Loss Solution To Reclaim ‘Lost F*ckboi Years’
Unless you’ve walked straight out a nue age f*ckboi factory (as a DMARGE correspondent did – and wrote about – last year), your hairstyle is probably personal.
Despite its intimate nature, personal grooming has come under much scrutiny this year. Not since James Deane’s slicked-back locks or Elvis Presley’s pompadour has a hairstyle caused such a collective gasp as Matt Damon’s 2020 mullet, for instance. Nor have so many beards been posted to Instagram in one spin around the sun.
In fact, with such a dearth of classy celebrity ‘going out’ ensembles to comment upon this year, lockdown beards, moustaches and long hair have dominated the headlines much more than say, suits and sunglasses.
Looking slick though has not gone out of style completely though. In fact, one American Hair Replacement Specialist’s Instagram account shows – at least in Worcester County, Massachusetts – there is a community of men who very much care about how they look.
Zach The Barber from Worcester Barbershop, who has 24.3 thousand followers on Instagram, has continued posting his signature move on the platform all year. That move? Wigs that look like suave undercuts and fades. Straight out of the 18th-century playbook (when wigs were hotter than Queen Louise of Prussia), if you will.
Case in point? His latest post, a video of a man with male pattern baldness, who walks in shiny as a bowling ball, and walks out with the sort of ‘do’ a Geordie Shore bro would rock to Spring Break in Miami.
The video shows the top of the client’s head being shaved to ensure maximum ‘stick,’ two types of glue being applied, a wig being put on and: boom, a new man.
As one commenter puts it, “Went from bob to chad real quick.” On top of that, big questions were asked like, “how long does it lasts without maintenance?” and “how much does it cost?”
According to the Motley Crew Barber Co’s website, this hair replacement service takes roughly 2-3 hours, and lasts between 4-6 months (before you need a new “system”).
As for price? The website reads: “I charge $750 for the initial system installation and haircut.”
Another frequently asked question – will people notice it’s fake? – was answered too. The barbers claim: “If applied and maintained correctly, your system will be undetectable.”
In addition, it’s also worth noting that even though the main glue for the long 4-6 month haul is done at your appointment, maintenance at home is required every few weeks either via tape or more glue.
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As for feedback, one commenter underneath the above Instagram video, who claims to have had similar treatment in the UK, writes: “Anyone even considering this just fucking do it. I had mine done 3 years ago and never looked back.”
The variety of men who can be seen getting this hair replacement on Zack The Barber’s Instagram page would suggest he is not alone.
Though we’re big fans of the Jason Stathams and Vin Diesels of the world here at DMARGE, and their ability to look stylishly masculine, sans hair, we have to say: this glorified wig service is damn impressive.
Time to scratch that itch.